Aka Lala One-shot: “S no Kaikoroku” (“Memoirs of a Sadist”) by Akane Ogura
(Note: There are a few of you who have gotten the wrong idea. If you are looking for hard-core materials, this is not the place. This is a blog for more mature shoujo, shounen, and josei manga.)
It’s been a while since we’ve released anything on Bakeneko’s Lair. I’ve been going through the process of changing the scope of the blog from shounen manga to mature and josei manga. This is our first release under the new scope.
This is a one-shot from Aka Lala. Aka Lala’s theme is “passion,” so many of the one-shots are quite intense. I’m not gonna lie; this oneshot is disturbing. It gets into S & M more than I’m comfortable with, but at the same time it’s very thought provoking. Anyhow, if you are squeamish, I recommend staying away from this oneshot. Also you might not want to look at this at work or with kids around. Here’s the release link:Link to “Memoirs of a Sadist”: (PDF)
My thoughts on this one-shot:
This oneshot deeply disturbed me. I can understand S & M of the playful type, but I think drawing blood and bruising is abuse, even if the masochist demands it. Clearly, the masochist is not right in the head and anyone who abuses a person to that extent is mentally ill. Personally, I don’t see how this relationship will last long before Natsukawa accidentally kills Sakurai (mostly likely resulting in an accidental murder/intentional suicide). It’s just messed up. Also I have to ask who the sadist is in this relationship? It seems to me Sakurai is torturing Natsukawa by making him abuse her. It’s subtle manipulation to make Natsukawa as low as she is. He feels guilty all around, and now that he’s nutz too, he can’t be in a normal relationship with other women. Ugh…I hate co-dependent relationships. A note to every one: LEAVE CRAZY ALONE! You can’t fix it and in the end you will descend into darkness with the crazy person.
I had to suspend reality to get through this story. I imagine in real life if a student missed school a lot and when they came to school, they were covered in serious wounds, the school would alert Child Protective Services. Also, why the heck would any girl want to go out with a guy who clearly abused his last girlfriend?!!! What was the other girl expecting?!!!
Ugh…what a sick-sad, but well told tale…
Posted on September 16, 2012, in Memoir of a Sadist and tagged Akane Ogura, nsfw, oneshot, S no Kaikoroku. Bookmark the permalink. 10 Comments.
Bakeneko's Lair 
Wow, I never expected Akane Ogura to make a work like this. O__O
Ok, so I read the piece (excelent release, by the way) and have to deeply disagree with you, Bakeneko, and with smdog too.
The truth is that I find more disturbing your thought on the topic than the manga itself. I’ll try to explain – this is going to be a really long comment, I hope you don’t mind.
Before I begin, I want to note that I’m no stranger to relationships based in some part on BDSM; I’m happily staying in one such a relationship for almost eleven years now and I had engaged in others like that before. I’m not bragging, just noting that what I say is not of purely speculative kind, it’s based on experience, although, obviously, I’m not going to share these experiences here.
So, first thing first, the notion that the heroine is abused by the hero. She is not. To prove this, ask yourself a question: would he stop if she told him to? If so, it’s not an abuse and as such has nothing, absolutely nothing to do with domestic violence, rape and anti-feminism, which are all very bad things that should not exist.
The question about who is the sadist in this relationship is an interesting one and the answer is: no one. You need to distinguish S/M and D/s parts of a BDSM abbreviation (that is: sadism and masochism vs. domination and submission). Sakurai is, obviously, a submissive and (borderline – this is medical condition but not a lethal one…) masochist while Natsukawa is completely normal at first and then becomes slightly dominant (as seen in the final page: “I want you to do whatever you like.” “Okay.” – the “Okay” here being the key; also in the scene where he bites his new girlfriend, but I’m not sure about this, he could have done this without knowing/noticing).
You see, being a sadist, masochist, submissive or dominant is NOT about what you do; it’s about why you do certain things, what is pleasure to you and how you react to certain situations. Sadism is defined as a feeling of pleasure resulting from hurting others (or, sometimes, oneself) and Natsukawa does NOT hurt Sakurai (being hurt is highly subjective and dependent on person being hurt, NOT on the social, or even medical, norms – unless we’re talking about law, which I don’t want to discuss here).
Now, as I mentioned above, being masochistic is a mental issue, frequently a result of childhood abuse, but not necessarily. This condition is frequently accompanied by depression or bipolar disorder, but sometimes occurs in otherwise completely healthy patients. The only way to cure this condition – that is, to enable patient to live happily without self-destructing behaviors, which is an objective here – is through years of (expensive) psychotherapy which frequently yields no benefit at all.
On the other hand, person with this condition can be made happy by following her desires with another person, who is aware of boundaries they should not cross (ie. not causing irreversible harm to the body, which masochists left alone tend to do), forming long lasting relationship. This works surprisingly well in many cases.
Of course, there are certain requirements for the other person as well. First of all, he must know what is really dangerous, in other words – what not to do even if the other person wants it. He must take responsibility for well-being (physical and mental) of other person not only during, but also after (and this can mean a long time) each scene. He must try to understand the reasons behind the tendencies of the other person and must try to influence her behavior in such a way that she ends up not harming herself. These are all very hard things to do and honestly, not many people are capable of staying in such a relationship.
To summarize: yes, the girl here is not “normal”, but she’s not disgusting either. She has issues which are potentially dangerous for her, and now she has a boyfriend, who is going to take care of her, making these issues much less dangerous than before. On the other hand, the boy has discovered that certain kind of sexual expression (keep in mind that we don’t know what exactly he considers “enough” and I really think that biting his new girlfriend was an accident) suits him better than other, more widely accepted ones.
What I mean to tell you is that this manga is not about “playful type” BDSM, which was made fashionable lately, but about real, genuine BDSM with some of the (ugly, perhaps) issues that lead to it and some of the consequences it brings. It’s not playing, it’s a lifestyle caused by deep and frequently incurable issues; it can seem repulsive to you, but sometimes it’s the only way for people to live their lives happily. Don’t judge them and if it’s not your thing – don’t look.
With the situation in manga being that realistic, there is only one hope I have: that Natsukawa will live up to the task of taking care of Sakurai. As I said, it’s hard and responsible role which not many people could play, fortunately it seems that he has what it takes to do this, and that’s why I’m optimistic.
For the last time: this is no Sparta… I mean, this is no madness. This is what BDSM really is at it’s core – hard, daily battle with ones mental issues. You can be disgusted if you want, of course, or you can earn some respect for BDSM, or you can be glad this particular couple seems to be doing much better being together than if they weren’t.
In the end, we should all admire the mangaka, who managed to create something that resonates deeply with all of us, even if with everyone for his own reason.
Best regards 🙂
I don’t want to communicate to those that read this blog that what you’re saying here is a good thing. I know people have issues and would like to define those issues as okay or “normal for me.” I gotta say, though, I find that kind of “happiness” disturbing and dangerous. So I’m sorry, but if you are into that, I think you need help. That’s not me judging you to be bad or disgusting, it’s me saying this as a concerned human being. Please, get help.
I know I shouldn’t, but I’ll reply to ad personam first: I didn’t say anything about me being “into that”… Just said I have some experience in the field, nothing about “that kind” of experience. Also, I said that I’m not going to share my experiences with you and I won’t; thus I find your “concern” offensive because based purely on speculation, I would appreciate if you refrained from it.
I’d like to know, though, what kind of help do you have in mind? What would you do in Natsukawa place (would you run away?)? Why do you consider that kind of happiness dangerous (I spent half of the comment explaining that it’s less dangerous than a masochist being left alone…)?
I never suggested it’s “normal” (I instead wrote that it isn’t four times); I wrote that it’s “ok” in comparison with other potential outcomes, which, I’m not sure you’re aware, include self-induced disability, suicide and drug addiction, among others.
I still believe that.
I don’t want to make you think that what was depicted in the story is a “good thing”. I just wanted to say that:
a) stories like this one happen in the real life,
b) the outcome depicted in the manga is less dramatic than it frequently is in real life.
These are facts; what to make of them is up to anyone reading this.
Thanks for the clarification.
Hi all 🙂
I seem to be fated to read this manga. I remember stumbling upon this very site some time ago and deciding not to read it because of your summary and comments. Now I’m writing a suggestion algorithm based on baka updates database (…what? I like mangas!) and it was suggested to me by my own software in a test run 🙂
I just wanted to leave a comment in case I’d forget to get back here and comment after reading. Also, many thanks for translating and releasing this, I couldn’t read it otherwise 😦
After reading this i understand more why japan is haunted. with crazies walking the earth this manga and the lot is an insult to abused women. This is not love. This is twisted perversion.
Highschoolers into that? sadism and what not . even more disgusting.
if the aim of it was to repulse , then it was a success. if the true aim was to get more adepts into appproving and kick off the sadism accessory market then its good too.
New gadgets to strangle your doormat girlfriend comming soon.! kick her with razor spiked boots. she’s gonna thank you.
I don’t think the intention of this oneshot was to promote this kind of relationship. I think it was meant as a character study to show how a normal person can descend into madness. I agree that this is an extremely abusive relationship.
It’s so brutal, but I really liked it. I didn’t think Akane Ogura could write and draw something like this. To use a really twisted plot and to be able to do something this good being still shojo is impressive.
I will be really looking forward for the other oneshot of AkaLala.
(The note about passion remind me of the good weather they have in Spain now while I am here freezing xD)
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